Chapter 5

The next morning before school, Mona didn’t go directly to her classroom. Instead, she first visited the library. It was across the hall from the entrance to the science hall and it was also pretty disappointing compared to the grandeur of the public library. The room was dominated by computers and tables. There were bookshelves along the walls and a few freestanding ones in the room, behind the tables that stood in the center.
Mona hadn’t realized she’d stopped in the doorway until a voice behind her asked her if she was going to stand there all day. She hurried to move out og the way and turned to see Mr. Pythagoras behind her.
“Yes,” he said indicating the room. “It’s rather disappointing. At least compared to the public library. Have you been in the public library? Amazing.” He set some books that he had been carrying down on the counter to his right and the woman sitting there proceeded to check them in.
Mona looked around again and then wandered over to the freestanding shelves. Mr. Pythagoras followed her over.
“Naturally, you are able to sniff out the fiction section of a library. Of course it may be due to the fact that this section is also the section most heavily occupied by books.” He said. Mona thought that he looked rather like a king, indicating his lands. “Yes, although it is, as a whole, a very disappointing library, this section is rather excellent. The collection of complete series is impressive and… well, complete; and the rarity of the books is quite pleasing.” Mona found that he was correct as she scanned the first shelf of books. All the series of books were complete and she saw some books there that she had never been able to find in any other library.
There were a lot of books that she had never read as well as some very good ones that she had.
“It would seem that you are correct…” Mona said, “Very excellent.” When saying this, she scanned a few of the other shelves. Mr. Pythagoras laughed and wandered away to do his own browsing. Mona decided that the approach she had taken with David’s library would work just as well here. She would start with the first section of books and read the ones that she wanted to in alphabetical order, that way she wouldn’t have to decide between books.
She went over to the first row of “A” books and selected the first one that sounded good to her, then went over to the checkout counter to check it out. She then carried it to her first hour. She didn’t start reading it right off, however, because she still had David’s book to finish.
For first hour math, they dove right into the first unit. Since the first week would be reviews, she figured that it would be slow and boring, but she was glad to be proved wrong. Mr. Dubois talked quickly and moved from element to element when he knew we understood instead of finishing an explanation and boring them to death.
For her second hour English class, they had a huge grammar test. Mr. Pythagoras, apparently, wanted to see how much they knew about grammar. Mona finished before the end of the hour and had about ten minutes of reading time.
After her fourth hour, she went to eat lunch with David again, but he had to go to a meeting, so she didn’t really have to talk to him. She practically skipped to the orchestra room because she was so excited, which was so unlike her. She had the fleeting thought that that was how she usually felt when going to Orchestra, and she was still a little sad that she didn’t have her old orchestra, but that this one would be just as amazing.
She had been carrying her violin around with her all day, so it was nice to take it off and put it down. She unpacked it slowly and made sure that it was in tune, and then sat silently, waiting for class to begin.
She was sitting third chair back in the first violin section (there was a list of names on the board of what section you were in and where you sat. Including chair and folder numbers). She was pretty happy to be a first violin, even though she liked being a second as well. She considered this proof of her love of orchestra, because she would be happy in any spot that they put her in. Her stand partner was Harry.
They didn’t do much except for sight-read, but that was okay, because Mona liked playing either way, whether it was actual rehearsal or just sight-reading the music. She felt a lot more happy than she had in the last two weeks. It was so good to be playing with a group again. She laughed when they all messed up and she joked a little with her stand partner and the rest of her section. They all seemed so accommodating.
When class was over she was smiling as she walked out the door and to the Seminary building.
She overheard one of the Seminary teachers explaining to a student that to find out which class you were assigned to, there was a sheet of paper by each Seminary teacher’s door that stated which students were in the class for all of the different hours.
Mona didn’t even look at any of the other papers, she walked straight to David’s door. She found her name on the paper immediately, under sixth hour. She felt a little disappointed, but she hadn’t really had any expectations anyway. She tried not to have expectations for things that she couldn’t influence in any way.
There were a few people already in the room, chatting loudly. Mona walked along the back wall, trying to decide where to sit, and was almost to the door to David’s office, when he walked out and almost ran right into her.
“Oh, hello. Do you need something?” Mona noticed that he didn’t look unsettled like he normally would when she popped up out of nowhere. She guessed that she’d given him some serious insight the previous evening.
“Nope.” Mona said. “This is my classroom.” David looked at her for a moment, as if considering the possibility of her joking with him. Apparently he couldn’t see one, because he said,
“Oh? Cool.” He moved out of the way so that she could move past, and then walked out the door. Mona didn’t miss it when he checked the paper, before moving on to do whatever it was that he was going to do.
Mona put all of her stuff, except for her scriptures, on the extra chair in David’s office, and then chose a seat at the very front of the room, not because she was enthusiastic, but because it was easier to see.
The room filled quickly and Mona was happy to see that Maureen also had David’s class. She waved as she sat next to Mona and then surprised her by pulling a book out and beginning to read. Mona had left her book in her backpack in David’s office, so she just sat in her chair until it was time for class to start.
David started class by asking Maureen to prey and Mona to play the piano. Mona thought about refusing, because for some reason, hymns were just really hard to play. IT was hard to keep time and there seemed to be a whole bunch of hidden ritardandos [in music means to gradually get slower] and fermatas [in music means to hold whatever note is beneath it, until the conductor says to stop] in the music, and Mona had a heard time remembering where they were, while people who sang the hymns seemed to know all about them. She agreed to play, though.
True to his word, David’s lesson was about application. Mona immediately like David better as a Seminary teacher, because he was able to treat her just like any other student, and so she just thought of him as any of her other teacher. She liked teachers in general, even the ones that everyone thought were horrible, so she found that she was able to like David a lot more.
She liked his attitude toward the students, because he treated them like adults, and found a way to make everything they said sound a little bit more intelligent. She even volunteered to read and answer questions.
During the lesson she thought, that even though he was horrible at understanding emotions or personalities that didn’t fit the norm, he did know a heck of a lot about the gospel. For having only been teaching for a year, he did his job very well. He finally portrayed the lighthearted humor and knowledge of a Seminary teacher that Mona had been looking for two weeks, and she realized that it wasn’t just an act that he did for the students, it was because he really loved what he was doing.
His transitioning from subject to subject was smooth and pretty clever to Mona. Mona thought that his teaching would be confused and muddled, like David was a lot of the time at home, but when he prepared for something, it was very organized and educational. Also, when Mona looked at him as her teacher, it made him seem a lot smarter than she thought. She hadn’t been thinking of him as a person who could educate others, but this was obviously his forte.
When class was over, Mona stowed her scriptures in the cupboard for sixth hour and said goodbye to Maureen. She wandered out into the foyer. Some kids were lagging behind, waiting for friends, and talking to Seminary teachers. Brother White was getting a drink from the drinking fountain, but came over to Mona when he saw her emerge from the classroom. He stuck his hand out, as usual, and Mona shook it.
“So, you’re in Brother Sandson’s class, eh? Don’t be too disappointed, he’s a good teacher.” He said.
“Yes, I know.” Mona said, smiling. Brother White raised his eyebrows and wiggled them, which mad Mona laugh.
“Oh, really? You do?” He asked. “Hm… Interesting… So what book are you reading right now?”
“Andrew and the Alchemist.” Mona said. He nodded politely, probably because he’d never heard of it before and said,
“Interesting…” He wandered away. Mona went back to the classroom and finished reading the book. She was getting out her MP3 player, to listen to while she doodled some cupcakes on a blank piece of paper. David came into the room and told her that she could listen to it on his sound system, if she wanted to.
“As long as you don’t listen to anything too bad.” He was smiling. He pointed to a cabinet in the corner of the room that held his VCR and DVD player. There was a main consol that controlled all the sound with an audio cable going into it. Mona plugged her MP3 player in, and turned the volume almost all the way down, just in case it became very loud suddenly.
She was currently listening to her movie soundtracks play list and was halfway through the “Pirates of the Caribbean soundtrack”. She found this ironic, because earlier in Orchestra, they had sight-read a medley of the themes from Pirates of the Caribbean. She really like this soundtrack because it was so powerful.
She went back to her doodling, but it wasn’t long before a couple of the Seminary teachers poked their heads in to “see where all the excitement was coming from.” David returned to the room and they got into an argument about ninjas versus pirates. Mona didn’t join in the conversation because she had nothing to say that wasn’t already said, so she just observed them. She concluded that they were all extremely geeky, not unlike the orchestra people.
She also noticed that David was less vocal in the conversation. He seemed to just enjoy being a part of the group, which she could relate to. Or perhaps he just hadn’t had enough exposure to other Seminary teachers to become as geeky as they were, but he would make it to that level with time.
The drive home was actually pretty pleasant, as was that evening. The rest of the week went similarly. Mona was really glad to have school, because it distracted her from being miserable and anxious. She got %100 on the grammar test in English, which Mr. Pythagoras extremely ridiculous and hilarious at the same time. She got her camera for Photography class and her first assignment was to take pictures of a list of emotions. This meant that she had to find something to take a picture of that represented an emotion for her.
She thoroughly enjoyed Orchestra, naturally, and she began to enjoy Seminary as well. More than she thought she would. After school on Friday, she felt more comfortable with her situation. Even though she had been at the Sandson’s house for two weeks before school started, she had felt like she could be thrown somewhere else at any moment, but after school started, she felt a little more secure. She had made friends (most of which were part of the orchestra) and she had established her standing.
Her standing was basically just that everyone thought she was really smart. Mona thought that they thought she was smarter than she actually was, because they always expected her to have the right answers. They didn’t ask her to explain why she came to a particular conclusion, they just trusted that it was correct, which bugged Mona. She didn’t care how smart a person was, she still wanted them to explain why they got an answer.
Also people started using her as a dictionary, asking her the meanings of words that they didn’t recognize. Mona found this funny and shocking. It was funny because there was a kid in her math class that started calling her “Mona: the human dictionary”, but it was shocking to her how many words people didn’t know the meanings to. There were a lot of very common words that people struggled with, and considered hard or big.
She and David got along quite well. There were still moments when David couldn’t believe that Mona liked something or thought differently from him, but she would always explain to him how she had come to have an opinion of whatever it was, and it helped him understand her better. Their communication got a lot better. They began to accept that they were different and that they wouldn’t always agree.
When she got home from school on Friday, she dragged her violin upstairs. They’d gotten copies of all the songs that they were going to play, so Mona was extremely excited to practice them. She looked forward to being able to play the songs well, because she absolutely loved playing them as a group and they sounded so good. She played music and read all weekend. She sat with Maureen at church and they spent most of Young Women’s talking about getting a quartet together for a project that they had to do for Orchestra.
Mona had been part of a quartet at her previous school and it had been the most fun she’d ever had. Being responsible to your own separate part was more challenging, yet more interesting then playing with a full orchestra and having a bunch of other people to help carry your part.
The next morning she woke up and got dressed, even though she felt more tired than she usually did. Because she had brought her scriptures and her violin home, she did her best to drag her stuff down the stairs quietly. David glanced up from the table as she passed and set her stuff on the floor next to the door, and then joined him, tiredly, at the table.
“Morning.” He yawned, lifting his glass of orange juice to his mouth and downing almost half of it. Mona grabbed some cereal boxes, bowls, and spoons and brought them to the table.
“Indeed it is.” She said pouring the cereal and then the milk into her bowl. She stirred it with her spoon a little before taking a bite. They ate in silence.
“Week two…” David remarked, Mona nodded then shrugged her shoulders, “but who’s counting?” He stood up from his chair and stretched.
“I like Mondays.” Mona said. David cocked his head, a bit quizzically. “there’s the rest of the week to look forward to on a Monday, but on a Friday all you really have to look forward to in two days of reading and sleeping.”
“I like sleeping…” David said absently. They remained silent. Sometimes, when they disagreed about something the other said, they’d gotten in the habit of remaining silent. When they couldn’t figure out how they could turn a disagreement into a learning experience, they just left it alone. If they could philosophize and find a new way to look at something, then they pursued a disagreement, very careful not to turn it hostile. They also had to learn that they could both be right, instead of trying to be more completely right over the other.
Plus, it was too early in the morning for Mona to think of a way that she could learn from discussing Fridays versus Mondays. Having always become more drowsy on car rides, Mona found it very hard to stay awake on the way to the school. She also found that she was feeling a bit uneasy. She had just remembered a dream that she’d had about her family and, even though her dreams never really effected her, she was feeling jumpy and alert, but tired; like she her mind was trying to be alert, but her body was drifting.
Her mind was a little fuzzy, which made her feel vulnerable to her emotions. In the back of her mind, Mona figured that this was just a symptom of her anxiety and that she should disregard it as irrational, but she couldn’t shake the feeling. She sat up a little straighter in her seat in an effort to stay awake. She found that she didn’t feel particularly excited to go to school today, even though it was her favorite place to be.
She dragged her feet as she walked into the Seminary building and put her scriptures away. The extra chair in David’s office was very comfortable, so she sat down in one of them. She was still thinking about that dream again and wasn’t really paying much attention, so when she started drifting off again, she didn’t catch herself before she fell asleep and started dreaming again.
She was standing in the living room of her old home again. She wasn’t quite sure how long she had been standing there, but it felt like it was a really long time. The edges of the room started to fade until there was shadow all around, the only thing she could see was the middle part of the room where she was standing. Out of the shadow came six men. They all carried huge long-swords that gleamed in the light that was coming from nowhere. They also had masks over their faces. Mona was terrified by them, but she didn’t move or show her fear in any way.
The men were circling her, rising up high and then falling to the floor, so fluidly that they seemed like wraiths. Their bodies blurred and swirled until they became almost like shadows. They started to move their swords as they rose and fell, in intricate patterns, spinning and slashing so that it looked like they were dancing. Their sword tips began to burn white hot, engraving their patterns in the air and on, it seemed, Mona’s very eyes. The patterns morphed and changed until they fell to the floor as pale, white shapes.
Mona cringed as she recognized the bodies of her family forming from the once shapeless blobs. Parts of them faded and others burned white, and the patterns that the wraiths had been slashing into the air covered their lifeless forms. The patterns began to move and flow like water until Mona wished that she could look away, but she couldn’t.
The wraiths had begun to spin faster and faster. Mona’s vision blurred and she swayed. She didn’t fall, but instead she sat down on an unending expanse of grass. The wraiths were becoming more solid again and then they were just six men, garbed entirely in black. They were each kneeling on one knee, with their sword tips planted in the ground and their heads bowed down to her. Mona looked down at herself, but the only thing she could see in place of her body, was swirling black clothe, moving in an imaginary wind. It was shapeless and big and it was embroidered with silver thread in that same eerie pattern that she had seen carved into the flesh of her family.
As Mona looked at the shimmering black clothe that had consumed her body, she had started to rise above the bowing men. She hovered about ten feet above them as they slowly rose with their swords still pointed downward. They were staring up at her, all with black eyes. Mona tried to move her arms, but she couldn’t seem to find them underneath all of the clothe. She could feel it’s cold on her arms, but they seemed paralyzed by the blackness.
As the black clothe swirled faster, she began to see shapes in it. She saw a whole bunch of people that she had known from before her life changes, from her family to her friends. Then, there was Alexandra and Annalise. The black clothe then rose up around her, enveloping her in it’s cold folds. David’s face appeared above her. He was dressed in his black suit and his face looked concerned. He opened his mouth and Mona’s ears were immediately filled with the sound of moving wind, rushing water, and slashing swords. David’s facial expression became more urgent and Mona thought that he looked like he was talking louder, but the noise was overwhelming. She felt extremely cold, now, so she started to shake uncontrollably. Her face felt wet like she was crying, but she couldn’t really tell, like every sense or emotion had been cut off except for her sight.
Several more figures in black suits appeared around David and Mona felt confused, like she should recognize them, but she couldn’t really see their faces, even though she knew that they were there. Her sight began to get even ore blurry. She blinked and opened her eyes. Above her stood four Seminary teachers including David. She was still crying.
* * *
David had left Mona in his office and gone to the secretary’s office to do his usual morning routine. On his way back to his room, he met some of the other teachers and they were having an interesting conversation as they walked, when he heard a gasping noise. It was as if someone was having trouble breathing. They all stopped talking to locate the source of the noise and David realized that it was coming from his office. He hurried toward it, rounded the corner and saw that Mona had fallen asleep in the extra chair in his office. She looked like she was going to suffocate. She was breathing raggedly, and gasping, as if she were in incredible pain. She had on arm wrapped around her and the other was clutching the armrest of the chair with white knuckles. David strode over to her and put his hand on her arm, cautiously. As soon as his hand touched her arm, she took in a huge gulp of air and started moaning, while tears ran from her eyes. She reached over to clutch the other armrest with her other hand and tensed up completely. If David had to describe the sounds of complete emotional anguish, the noises that Mona was making would be it.
The other brothers tried to fit themselves into the office, though David wasn’t sure what exactly they were hoping to accomplish by doing so.
“Mona?” David said her name, trying not to sound urgent. “Mona, it is very important for you to wake up, now.” She began shaking very hard when she heard his voice. She drew her knees up onto the chair and hugged them tightly to her and tried to turn away from him. David gently, but firmly, took her by the shoulders to keep her from turning away.
“Mona.” He said firmly, because that is what Annalise had done several times. She was sympathetic, but firm. He tried to keep her from shaking by holding her still. Her eyes finally snapped open, but for a few minutes they were unfocused and terrified, seeming to look right through him, then she blinked and her eyes cleared, becoming the same, guarded, blue. She hid her confusion as she looked at each of the people that were standing over her.
No one said anything as she looked down at her hands, which were still shaking. Tears still made wet tracks down her face, but she quickly got them under control. She slowly put her feet back on the ground and Richard White was the first one to speak.
“You okay, Mona?” Her eyes slowly came up as the other teachers began to talk.
“That must have been a really nasty dream.” said Brother Bird, looking sympathetic.
“Do you want to talk about it?” asked Brother Stevenson, who was easily the tallest of all the seminary teachers.
“How about we all sit down.” Brother White said. They ended up with Brother Bird and Brother Stevenson sitting on the desk, while Brother white pulled David’s chair out around the desk in the gap between the end of the desk and the wall, whilst David knelt next to chair that Mona sat in. He had closed the door, because the bell had rang. They all stared at Mona as she started to tell about her dream. Her voices was under control and she had wiped the tear tracks from her face, but she was still shaking a little.
She described her dream very vividly. David decided that she was a marvelous storyteller. Her imagery was fascinating and she was able to word her explanations so that David could picture everything in his head. The other brothers looked entranced at her retelling.
“Wow, that sounds terrifying.” said Brother Stevenson when she had finished.
“Very vivid.” added Brother Bird. The other two nodded. David could see that Mona was beginning to look a little uncomfortable. He didn’t know if it was because her dream had shaken her up, so that she just wasn’t able to suppress her emotions as effectively, or if it was because her discomfort was strong enough to break through her mask; but he knew that it was time for the others to leave.
He stood up and opened the door.
“Well, it’s time for class.” The other teachers stood and, in turn, each patted Mona on the shoulder before leaving. David didn’t have a class. He turned back to Mona, who was still looking a bit vulnerable. She was staring at the floor and her arms were folded tightly. She seemed smaller and less noticeable then ever before.
“Seriously, Mona, are you going to be okay?” She looked up at him and furrowed her eyebrows.
“What exactly did I do?” she asked. “Really, it was just a dream, I’m not sure it was a big deal, I’m just greatly disoriented.” David walked slowly to his chair and moved it back behind his desk and ten sat in it. He intertwined his fingers together and resting his elbows on his desk. Mona continued to look him in the eye. David sighed and explained to her what it looked like to him.
“So, it just sounded pretty bad… I’m not emotionally scarred or anything like that because of it.”
“no, you aren’t. I think that your restlessness while your sleeping is a result of your previous emotional scarring.” David said.
“Previous emotional scarring? My emotions are fine.” Mona said, though not very convincingly to David.
“Annalise said that you might experience a lot of emotional confusion, because you’ve lost the ability to trust and/or understand ho you feel due to the intense fear that you are most recently subjected to.” Mona stare at the surface of the desk, unconsciously wringing her hands and chewing on her lower lip. She was thinking.
“But that fear is irrational. I don’t even have to acknowledge that it’s there. It’s irrational.” She repeated.
“So, how many of your emotions do you consider irrational? How many are you not sure about? Are you constantly questioning every emotion you have, wandering if it’s just another irrational things happening that shouldn’t be paid any attention?” David looked straight into Mona’s eyes, but, for once, she couldn’t meet them. This made David a little more confident with his impulse to confront Mona, because he felt like her was getting somewhere.
“Didn’t you ever think that your lack of trust in your heart effects your ability to grow a testimony? To gain a witness you have to feel it in your heart. You can’t just know it in your head. Don’t leave your heart out, it’s just as important.” He continued.
“I know.” Mona said. “ I do feel it. It’s just hard to feel it, sometimes, through all of the other things mixed around in there. It’s not a matter of feeling it, it’s a matter of realizing and recognizing that I am feeling.”
David stood up slowly. He continued to look at Mona, but she had drawn back in and just sat staring at the wall. David opened to door to his office again and leaned against the door frame.
“You’re welcome to stay in here for as long as you need.” He left and went to his white board. He still had preparations to make before his class started next hour. When the bell did ring for second hour he looked back into his office and saw Mona waking up. She had fallen asleep in the chair again. When she emerged from the office, she looked completely normal. She held up a hand in farewell and the left.
“Have a nice day.” He called after her as she left. After second hour, he wished that he would have a nice day as well, because he felt like his lesson had failed miserably. He was erasing the board when Brother White stuck his head into the room.
“Is it just me, or does today seem like a lesson killer?” he asked and David glanced around at him.
“Yes.” He laughed. “Silly children think that they can contradict scriptures and rationalize sin.” He shook his head.
“Silly, silly children.” Brother white said. “They would not remain focused and kept talking about things that had nothing to do with the lesson.”
“Silly.” David agreed. They both laughed. David sat on his stool in the front of the room and Richard sat on a desk.
“So.” Brother White said, “Did you make Mona go to class after all?” He said glancing behind him into the office.
“I just told her that she could stay in there for as long as she needed to. She slept for the duration of first hour and then left when first hour was over.”
“She was okay with napping? I wouldn’t want to close my eyes ever again. That’s one of the reasons that it’s so hard to sleep after you wake up from a nightmare. You sit there wondering if you really want to go to sleep.”
“Yeah. She looked better after sleeping, though. She told me that it was just a dream and it was really not that big of a deal.”
“HA! She looked pretty shaken up afterwards. It didn’t seem like no big deal to me.” Brother White scoffed.
“Apparently she was ‘ greatly disoriented’” David said, making quotation marks in the air with his fingers, then shrugged. “I guess that made her more vulnerable to her emotions?”
“I’ll bet she was.” They laughed and then stopped talking as a few people started wandering into the classroom. When the bell rang, Brother White stood up and left, sticking his tongue out at the girl who was waiting for him to get off of her desk. She laughed and sat down. He moved toward the door and then turned around and asked,
“So, what do you plan to do?” He looked at David seriously. The kids looked from David to Brother White, confused and curious.
“No idea,” He said honestly. “What would one do in a situation such as this?”
Brother White shrugged. One of the kids in the class spoke up.
“Google it?” Everyone laughed, but they didn’t see Brother White raise his eyebrows as he walked out the door. David walked up to the front of the classroom and saw that some of the kids were still looking at him curiously.
“I guess it’s a start.” He shrugged and got a chorus of questions from his class.
“What are you Googling?” “What are you going to do about what?” “What are you guys talking about?” Were the questions he got mostly. He held up his hands for silence and leaned slightly forward on his stool like he was about to let them in on a serious secret. The class were quiet and staring at him intently.
“What to do about noisy children who want to know the secrets of the universe.” Some of the kids groaned and others laughed. Then, David jumped right into his lesson, which didn’t go as badly as the previous one had.
When Mona came to lunch, she brought Maureen John with her. Maureen had a huge lunchbox full of assorted foods, that she and Mona swapped and shared. When David saw the amount of food in her lunchbox he said,
“Geez. Did you tell your mother that you were going on a freaking picnic or something?” She looked sheepish.
“It’s so that I have enough to share with those who are too unfortunate to have lunch themselves.”
“Geez.” David said, and the two girls laughed. Mona was a lot more talkative than David ever saw her. She and Maureen were having a confusing conversation about something that they did or were going to do in Orchestra, and something about shifting and accuracy. They didn’t talk very loudly, because they thought that David was working on his computer, when he really had just opened a blank Word document and was pretending so that he felt less intrusive.
He had a slight suspicion that she might be trying to prove something to him. Perhaps that she was, in fact, emotionally stable or something like that. When the bell rang, they left for Orchestra quickly, with much excitement. It was, once again, David’s prep hour, so he wandered out into the foyer, where Brother White was also wandering. They greeted kids coming in for other teachers’ classes until the bell rang again. This was also Brother White’s prep hour.
They got into an argument about a concept and both ran to their rooms for their scriptures. They ended up sitting on the floor in the middle of the foyer, exchanging references for the hour. One girl, who was delivering notes for the office, told them that they were weird, and David was surprised (although, not too much) to find himself agreeing wholeheartedly. He had thought that he was a pretty normal guy, but normal as a Seminary teacher still meant pretty weird for a person. He and Brother White laughed and kept referencing; adding some more pencil scribbles the ones already covering the pages of their scriptures.
In sixth hour, David noticed that Mona seemed a lot more vocal and participant than she usually did. For some reason he found this funny. She always seemed like she cared so little of people’s opinions of her and she was always so open with how she felt, yet, now, she was trying to convince him, with her actions, that she wasn’t feeling the way that he knew that she was. He guessed that she was probably feeling a little exposed because of all the people who had seen her in her weakness, so she was trying to seem more okay, then she was.
He also found it interesting how much she actually did care about his opinion of her, which hadn’t changed in essence, just evolved. He found it refreshing that she was having a normal, teenage girl reaction to something.
After school ended, she went back to reading her book, which was fine by David. He never expected her to give up her reading just because someone’s good opinion of her might be in trouble.
* * *
Mona dreamt again after she fell asleep when she was finished talking to David, but there was absolutely nothing sinister in this dream. In fact, it had nothing to do with anything. It started in a tower.
Mona was standing with her arms behind her back, looking out into the darkness. She vaguely remembered the guards bringing her to this room at the top of a tower, in a fortress of some sort, for some reason. She was wearing a black shirt. The kind that buttons up, with slightly billowing sleeves; the cuffs of which started several inches above where they ended at her wrists, thus giving her the ability to use her hands without the sleeves getting in the way.
Her pants were the same way, billowing slightly, but narrowing below her knees so that the black boots that she wore could fit over them without being bulky. Her hair didn’t hang loose, like usual. Instead, it was tied back tightly at the back of her head. One candle illuminated the room from this single table in the center. The room itself contained next to nothing. The table and then a bed on one side. There was also a door leading out, but Mona took no notice of any of these things.
She stared out into the darkness. By the light of the moon and a few torches along the outer wall of the fortress, Mona could see what lay between her and escape. It was a field, a hundred yards wide, of wild rosebushes. Thick and sharp, they barred the way from the tower to the outer wall.
Mona had taken a few minutes to map out her escape and to memorize where the sentries were positioned, but now she stuck one foot out the small rectangular window. Apparently, whomever had built this tower wasn’t very concerned with escapes or suicides, because the window was more than big enough to let her through. The thin, but fractionated, boots gave her feet purchase that no one but one who had been trained could find. She took a moment to remember that she had been trained. She lowered herself carefully down the ledge until she was holding onto the window ledge with arms fully extended. She did not hesitate in letting go with one of her hands to find a new handhold and then another with her other hand.
This was the way in which she descended from the tower, hundreds of feet, to the ground. When she was only about ten feet from the tops of the bushed, she let go, and it all she had in her to keep from screaming as the thorns lodged themselves in her skin and ripped her sleeves and pant legs. She bit her tongue and kept her eyes above the top of the bushes for only a few seconds to gather her bearings and then made her way through the sea of thorns on her hands and knees, pushing away the thorns that threatened to poke out her eyes. She only took one more risk in checking her position, and she was three fourths of the way there, but she heard an alarm sound somewhere accompanied by people shouting.
Mona stood up and dashed for the wall. There weren’t any sentries on the wall itself, so Mona jumped right onto the side of it and began to climb. When she reached the top, the guards, who were dressed in red armor, had also gotten to the top with the aid of ladders and were running along the top of the wall toward her. There was a tree almost fifteen feet away on the other side of the wall at the edge of the forest that surrounded the fortress. Mona stood for only a moment at the inside edge of the wall and then sprinted to the other edge and jumped. She only barely reached a branch with her fingers. She gripped it tightly. It sunk and groaned with her weight. Using the momentum of her jump, she swung her legs up, catching them in a split of two branches and stabilizing herself there.
She only took a minutes to catch her breath before leaping to another tree next to that one. She didn’t want to walk on the ground for fear of leaving a follow able trail.
The dream changed to a different forest. The trees looked taller and almost silver in the full moon’s light. Mona stood against a tree wrapped in robes and a cloak that were the same color as the tree she was standing against. Her hair was down, but still braided back, with silver leaves wove into the ends. She held a bow with an arrow notched on the string, pointing downward. She was breathing so lightly that she could barely hear it herself. Her eyes were closed and she seemed to melt into the tree, feeling, as it was, rooted in the ground. Her ears detected the most minute sound and she opened her eyes. With one fluid movement, she spun around the tree and let her arrow fly, with another one already drawn and aimed toward where the sound had come from.
The first arrow was stuck in a tree about fifty yards away and only an inch away from the nose of a man dressed in red, with dark hair and eyes. His long sword was drawn and he stood ready.
“You’re quick.” He commented, loud enough for her to hear, but it still seemed to her like he was speaking quietly. He turned toward her slowly. Mona had the sense not to answer. Instead she released her arrow high into the air, replacing it just as rapidly as she had before. Her aim was back on the man before he could blink. The arrow was specially made with a whistle on the tip so that when it flew it made a shrill noise.
In a moment, there were five other figures dressed in silver, standing in various places around the man. Two had appeared in trees on either side of him, their bows pointed down at him. There was another to the side of the man coming out from behind another tree. Mona’s eye never left the man, but she saw one of the figures appear beside her. The fifth leapt from the tree that Mona had hit with the first arrow. This figure didn’t carry a bow like the others, but a short, thin sword, that curved elegantly. He held it to the man’s throat, before he could move. Somewhere, the woods were disturbed by the clanging of a bell.
Mona opened her eyes and stared at David’s office. She was so tempted to close her eyes and hold onto the dream, but the bell had just rang and she didn’t want to sit in there while David had a class, so she grabbed her backpack and violin (which she would have to carry to all her classes now) and waved to David on her way out the door. It didn’t take her long to get to her English class. She sat in her seat in the back corner and arranged her violin underneath her desk so that anyone walking by wouldn’t step on it or kick it accidentally.
Mr. Pythagoras’ desk was behind her. He was the only teacher that she knew of who didn’t have their desk at the front of the room. He was sitting at his desk reading The Lost Symbol by Dan brown.
“That’s a good book.” Mona stated, and he looked up from the book. He seemed almost disoriented.
“What” Oh, yes.” he said. “It’s very good. I quite enjoy having my mind blown every other page.”
“Yes. Ha ha. Have you ever read Lightning by dean Koontz?” Mona asked him. He shook his head.
“Nope. Is it about nature or something mind-blowing about lightning or something?”
“No, it’s about time traveling Nazis.” Mona said and he laughed, putting his book down and stretching.
“Now, that sounds interesting.” He said. “Do, tell more. Feel free to elaborate.”
Well,” Mona said, “the Nazis come up with a time machine and they train special agents to go forward in time to gather information about the war and how they can win it and such. There’s one particular agent who is walking around the future and he went into a book store and found this author who was signing books, and she was paralyzed, because the doctor who delivered her was drunk and she was injured. So he buys some of her books and reads them, and then he falls in love with her. Then he goes back in time and stops the doctor who’s drunk from delivering her, so she’s not paralyzed any more. Then he keeps going back, or I guess forward, for him, and he saves her from all this stuff and he has to stop the Nazis in his time. It’s really fascinating book. Completely blew my mind so many times.” She explained.
“Wow.” He said. “I’m going to have to look into that.” Then it was time for class to start.
Mona found Maureen before lunch and invited her to eat with her and David. Mostly because she didn’t want to have to talk about that morning and if she had someone else with her, she knew that David wouldn’t go there. Also, because Maureen’s mother was sure that someone in the world was going without lunch, so she packed Maureen’s lunchbox chock full of stuff for her to share with people, so Mona knew that Maureen had enough to share and swap with her. She would be grateful for someone else to share her lunch with, because she hardly ever sat with anyone during lunch and couldn’t eat all the food that her mother packed her.
Maureen’s mother sometimes scolded her for not at least attempting to curb someone else’s starvation.
They feaster on sandwiches and all sorts of things that they found in the lunchbox. Then they talked about how Miss Dunne wanted them to shift all over the place in one of the songs that they were playing, and about how she had told them about exercises that they could do to make their shifting more accurate. The song was a faster moving piece so, they didn’t have enough time to shift and then slide around to try and find the right note. She had told them that if you could teach yourself how far you needed to slide your hand down, then shifting would become more natural.
When the bell rang, they practically skipped to Orchestra. Mona had decided to leave her stuff in David’s office. As they set up for Orchestra, Harry started talking about his dream that he had had, in which he was Mario and Ginge was Luigi. When he told Mona that she had been the princess, she expressed her discomfort with that thought, Harry laughed.
“Oh, don’t worry, Mona. In the dream, the princess was actually the evil one and you threw huge balls of fire at us while we were trying to rescue all of the adorable little turtles.”
As they were laughing, Dallas ran up to her and poked her. This was a daily occurrence, now, since September was only half over. Mona couldn’t help but wonder if the next month was going to be “slap Mona month”. She wouldn’t put it past Dallas.
When school ended, Mona sat down and read, tired of her day of socializing. She didn’t notice Brother White come into the classroom until he snatched her book away to read the back of the book. She didn’t let her surprise at his showing up out of no where show.
“So,” he said staring at the back of the book. “Just a dream, eh? No big deal, eh?” He asked teasingly. He continued to pretend to read the back of the book.
“Are there no secrets among Seminary teachers?” Mona asked, “And, yes. Dreams lose their intensity to a degree after you wake up.” He raised his eyebrows trying to look serious.
“Is that look working for you?” Mona raised her eyebrows. Brother White laughed and handed her book back to her.
“What? Was I not serious looking enough?” He asked, wiggling his eyebrows again.
“The nerdy look doesn’t go well with serious.” Mona said apologetically.
“Nerdy look?” He frowned. “I don’t look that nerdy, do I?” He looked at himself.
“By definition, Seminary teachers are very nerdy.” Mona said. “Tall, skinny, with nerdy glasses and suits.”
“Oh…” brother White took his glasses off and squinted at them. “I thought they were stylish.” Mona laughed and he pretended to walk away sadly. She went back to her book.
When they went home, Mona didn’t talk to Annalise. She just went up to her room to finish some homework and read. In the middle of a chapter, she decided that she should write down the dream that she had had that morning (the second one). She had a feeling that it would make an excellent idea for a book, if she ever got around to trying to write one. She’d had some pretty good ideas for books in the past, but she couldn’t really motivate herself to write one, because it would take a lot of work to write some piece of literature that she considered good.
She went down a while later to see if dinner was ready, but it was absolutely silent as she came down the stairs. She peeked around the corner of the opening at the bottom of the stairs and saw David and Annalise were waiting for her at the table, the food sitting untouched. Mona sat down self-consciously and said,
“Do you want me to say the prayer?” They both stared at her seriously.
“I think we should probably talk first.” David said somberly, folding his arms putting them on the table.
“It was just a dream.” Mona said, immediately knowing what this was about. “I’m fine, really, I am.” Mona was hungry, but she recognized this as a bad time to ask if she could start eating, so she sat and stared anywhere besides at the two people sitting with her at the table.
“If you’re…” David started and then stopped, trying to gather his thoughts. Mona could think of tons of words to fit in that blank. Traumatized, anxious, irrationally terrified. She maintained her silence, waiting for the awkward conversation that would inevitably follow. She didn’t really think that talking about it was necessary, she had dealt with her problems for years and she was doing fine at it, it was just a little unfair that she couldn’t hide it while she was asleep.
Annalise was looking at her with a look of pity on her face. Mona almost cringed. She hated pity, so she had to say something.
“Really, promise. I will be perfectly fine emotionally, nothing has changed.” Mona said, going a little bit red with embarrassment.
“What about your… anxiety disorder?” He said it hesitantly, like he thought it was a hard subject to bring up on her, but it wasn’t really.
“Nothing’s changed. I have had them for years and I’ve done absolutely fine with them so far. They are unpleasant and inconvenient, and they are always there, so it doesn’t really make a difference. I don’t see why this matters.”
“It can’t be fun.” Annalise said.
“It’s been there for so long that I hardly notice it on a smaller scale. There isn’t really anything that you can do about it; apart from medication, and just to save you the trouble of asking, I refuse.” Mona said. David and Annalise shared a glance. “The only thing there is to do, is learn to shut it out, which I have done for the most part.”
“By shutting it out, though, there might be other things that you’re missing out on.”
“Wait,” Mona said holding up her hands. “you need to understand this. This isn’t an all the time thing. There are good days and bad days, sometimes even bad weeks, but it’s never a constant. This morning was a bad morning, but right now I’m absolutely fine. I do learn to feel other things during breaks, I’m just used to shutting out the useless emotions, like anxiety or fear. There are some times that I never feel anxious, and times when I almost always do; and if by missing out on something, you mean that it’s stunting my spiritual growth, that’s not true. It may be harder for me, at times, to discriminate and recognize, spiritual feelings, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t feel them.”
They were still staring at her. She cringed a little. Her explanation was a little fragmented, she knew, but it might help their conception a little.
“I still feel bad.” David said. “I feel like I’m making you deal with it all by yourself.”
“Oh, come on!” Mona said, a little mischievously. “You’re a seminary teacher! Where is that ‘we are never alone’ lesson or scripture that should be bouncing around in your head somewhere?”
“That’s true.” He said with a little, thoughtful smile. “As long as you are actually using your resources.” He said raising his eyebrows. Then, he turned to Annalise. “Would you say the prayer? This child looks starved.” Annalise shook her head, smiling. The food was very good to Mona, but she was still a little uncomfortable.